tell me a secret
One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.
I can’t breathe
We have a frog and a pig
a rabbit and a promiscuously drawn woman
a donkey and a dragon
a shape shifting dog and a rainbow unicorn
and a warthog with a meerkat who raise a lion cub
But no one will ever accept the Bee Movie
I thought this was gonna be about gay couples but gee was I mistaken
Sensei: Why do you want to learn Japanese?
Guy: I'm tired of reading subtitles.